For some trans women, romantic relationships can be both fascinating and challenging. But despite all the anxieties, it is almost impossible not to approach love. Being attracted to, liking and falling in love with someone transcends gender. Because it is a matter of the heart.

For trans women, social perceptions, trust, openness, and self-worth are often involved in the gender affirmation process. If you feel that you are ready for a romantic relationship or have already fallen in love, here are some sincere and useful tips for trans women on how to build healthy and safe relationships:

1. Remember that you will find the warmest love in yourself

The way to love someone and build healthy relationships is to love yourself. Here, knowing yourself, your body and your character traits lays the foundation for preliminary love and affection. Knowing who you are means knowing your limits and expectations in any relationship. Remember: Your identity is a strength, not a burden. It takes pride, self-confidence and courage to carry it. Embark on a journey of self-discovery and hear the needs of your soul and body. Put yourself first.

2. You will make the best decision to disclose your identity

Remember that you don’t have to disclose your trans identity. Even though relationships are based on identities at first, over time they go beyond identities. Therefore, not rushing the relationship and getting to know each other without violating boundaries will ensure a healthy process.

However, relationships get their strength from mutual trust, at this point, you can reveal your identity at a time of your choosing and express your expectations accordingly. Remember that the process of opening up is an intimate sharing rather than a weakness.

3. Understand the difference between being fetishized and being valued

Connect not just with people who “find it interesting that you are trans”, but with people who really want to get to know you and have the confidence to love you for who you are. As a trans woman, you are not a “fantasy” tool, but a valuable human being with the same expectations of relationships. If what you want is respect, connection and intimacy, it’s your right to be selective.

4. Safety should always be a priority

Feeling safe in a relationship is paramount, and this includes the first date. If you agree to meet someone for the first time, choose public places and inform your close friends. Don’t share personal and identifying information immediately, especially when meeting online. No matter how romantic and attractive it may seem, you have to make sure you don’t put yourself in danger.

5. Rejection and rejection are natural

First dates give important clues as to whether you should continue the relationship or not. Sometimes expectations may not be mutually realized. At this point, it is natural to both reject and be rejected. Don’t internalize this as “you won’t be loved because you are trans”, because rejection is a natural process in relationships that can happen to almost anyone. Some people are just not ready or unconscious and this does not diminish your value.

6. Know and Protect Your Boundaries

Personal boundaries are very valuable at every stage of a relationship. However, setting these boundaries at the beginning of a relationship is even more important for a healthy relationship.

A good understanding of the dynamics of the romantic relationship (sexuality, emotional connection, communication style…) and your personal expectations on these issues will guide you in setting your boundaries. Remember, you are not your partner’s “teacher”, but you should not be afraid to express yourself. Striking this delicate balance will help you to have the ideal relationship.

Being in a Romantic Relationship as a Trans Woman

As a trans woman, give yourself to love and time. Your mind will want to leave you immobilized and without options when it comes to taking steps to protect you. But in a romantic relationship, focus on your heart and go with the flow. Capture the most romantic and beautiful moments of love as a trans woman.

Remember, building your self in a romantic relationship is not just a journey; it is also a story of resistance, rebirth and courage from within. You and only you have the right to define who you are, regardless of where society tries to put you. The need for validation in terms of your relationship and identity choices is natural, but it doesn’t mean everything. At this point, always claim all the qualities that make you who you are and that unique woman. Existence is a celebration and acceptance, not an explanation.

Not everyone may understand you and your struggle for existence, because not everyone is as strong and aware as you are. Fears, uncertainties and occasional loneliness are natural in this process. Don’t be afraid, don’t retreat into your shell, don’t give up. Because embracing your own identity is not everyone’s cup of tea and you are accomplishing what is difficult. You are doing what most people cannot do. While life is trying to shape you, you are picking up your pen and writing your own story. And keep writing this story with joy, because this world is ready to see and love your amazing self.

Feminizator.com is a website that believes that femininity is a colorful universe. Here, you won’t find rigid definitions or worn-out stereotypes about femininity. Instead, we celebrate a vibrant spectrum with all the complexity, power and joy of being “it”. Every day, we dive into the multifaceted world of femininity. We explore topics such as inner strength, creative expression, conscious living and global perspectives. We also embrace LGBT+ and transgender people and show them different ways of being feminine. We are here to empower you to embrace your femininity, own your own story and blossom into the best version of yourself. Welcome to Feminizator. Welcome to yourself.